Unworthy, Broken, and LOVED!

So today I want to ask you a question…you do not have to answer out loud or to me…just think about it.

First, I want you to take your hands and cup them together.  Like you are holding something inside.

 

Just like this.

Now…

Have you ever felt so lost?  So unworthy that you can’t see how anybody can look at you with respect, in a good light, with love…

Ever felt just so low and think that there is no hope or no one out there that cares?

Think about that…or think of times you feel ashamed about things you do…think…say…the way you look….anything that may be on your mind or weigh heavy on your heart. 

Imagine all of that crap and pretend that it is inside your hands.  Hold it there.  Feel all that weight growing inside your hands.  All the stuff that keeps you from feeling that you are loved…place all that hate inside your hands.  Now hold it there while you read…

Judges 16

Being the good Episcopalians that we are, we probably have no idea what that is…

It’s Samson and Delilah.  In this story you have the great and mighty Samson.  Who was prophesied to begin the deliverance of Israel from Philistine oppression.  He was destined to be a great hero of the people of Israel.  Instead, he became infatuated with Delilah.  I prostitute who was sent to help capture Samson.  She succeeded and Samson had his eyes gouged out and make him work hard labor in the prison in Gaza.  The great and powerful, unbeatable Samson, was now a slave. 

Failure.

Jonah.  Did not do what God asked him to do.  Swallowed by a big fish.

David.  Gives in to his desire for another man’s wife. His decision leads not only to deception and adultery, but even to murder.

Jacob.  Prophet of God.  Deceived his own father and brother to gain the birthright.

Adam and Eve…I think we all know that one.

The point is, we all mess up.

If you think about it, when Jesus was crucified…According to Luke, before crying out to God, what was the last thing he said?

“Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in Paradise.”

Who did he say it to? 

A thief who was being crucified.  Look up St. Dismas for more information on that one.

Look back down at your hands?  How are ya feeling?  Do you still have all that anger inside of there?

Jonah.  Freed from the fish and carried out his duty given to him by God.

David.  Was forgiven and learned self-discipline.

Jacob.  Wrestled with God himself.  Later forgiven by his brother Esau and carried out his mission given to him by God.

Samson.  Humbled and returned to the Lord.  And fulfilled his prophecy and went down in the “Hall of Faith” in Hebrews.

I once heard this metaphor.  Imagine you are a slab of marble.  And God is the sculpture.  Throughout your whole life he is chipping away. You were made in his image.  As we grow we may wonder, lose faith, or run away completely.  But the whole time, the sculpture continues chipping away.  Making you exactly how you are supposed to be.  Perfect.

So now I ask you, what is it that is keeping you from feeling the love of Christ everyday of your life?  What is holding you back?  What is keeping you from fully living you for God?  Being a true servant of the Lord…

Is it the stuff in your hand?

This past Sunday, Bishop Don Johnson answered this question.  He quoted…

 For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.    Romans 8:38

NOTHING! Nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord!

The Bishop nearly yelled out as he closed out his sermon.

NOTHING!

Open your hands… what is in there…

Nothing?

Shrove Tuesday

Happy Shrove Tuesday Everybody!

Today is Shrove Tuesday also known as Pancake Tuesday or Pancake Day better known as Fat Tuesday which means Mardi Gras!  That is a lot of names!  What on earth does all that mean?

Oh hypothetical Matthew, I am so glad you asked!  Well, “Shrove Tuesday” comes from the latin scr bere  for to write, which changed to the Old English scrifan through the Middle English schriven which means to make or go to confession.  Hmm…

Shrove is the past tense for the verb shrive, which means to obtain absolution for one’s sin by way of Confession and doing penance.  Oh… starting to make sense…

Mardi Gras comes from the French for “Fat Tuesday” referring to the practice of the last night of eating rich fatty foods before the fasting of lent starts on Ash Wednesday.  Oh ok…why pancakes?

Pancakes were traditionally made because it was a way of using up all the rich fatty foods like eggs, milk, and sugar that were traditionally given up.

 In Newfoundland, tokens were actually made into the pancakes that were symbols of divinatory.  So like a coin meant they would be wealthy.  One of them was that you would marry a carpenter if you found a nail in your pancake! 

So we generally get to Lent and give something up.  Candy, soft drinks, sweets…just because it is what is our tradition and it is what we are told to do.  But what are we actually doing this for?

Tomorrow we will gather at altar and have ashes smooshed on our foreheads while the words, “Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”

We are called to repent.  To confess our sins and return to the Lord.  A chance to love the Lord with all our hearts, with all our soul, and with all our might.

This is the time that Jesus went of in the desert to pray and fasted for 40 days.  He was tempted by the devil.  All this leading up to his crucifixion, where he takes on all our sins.

So what do we do, we “fast”.  We give something up.  We pick something that we like and say we will give it up.  That is how we honor this.  That is our penance.  

In the book of Joel we are called to “Even then,” declares the LORD, “return to me with your whole heart”.

Calvary hosts a Lenten Preaching Series each year.  Last year, the Rev. John M. Pitzer, O.P. started off the series last year and I wanted to share some of his lessons with you.

He starts off talking about the fact that we give stuff up for Lent and that’s great!  That is what we are asked to do.  But is it really that simple? 

“With your whole heart!” declares the Lord! 

Rev. Pitzer challenges us.  If you are fasting from something…chips, candy, soda…If you are fasting from these things.  What are you feasting on?

He leaves us with these examples and challenges for Lent.  I leave you with the same.  Giving up something is fine.  But what do you fast on?  How are you using your whole heart, to return to the Lord?

If you fast from being critical of people…feast on building people up.

Fast from gossip…feast on holding your tongue

Fast from holding a grudge…feast on forgiveness

Fast from telling those white lies we all tell…feast on the truth

Fast from disrespecting others…feast on respecting all of God’s Children

Fast from making excuses…feast on getting involved and being willing to help

Fast from a bad attitude…feast on being positive

Fast from violence…feast on peace

Fast on being passive aggressive…feast on sharing your feelings honestly

Fast from being mean or rude…feast on being nice and polite

Fast from fear…feast on hope

Fast from hate…feast on love

“Even now,” declares the LORD, “return to me with your whole heart.” 

A lot of time we struggle with this for whatever reason.  We consider ourselves too much of a failure.  We have sinned too much.  We are not worthy, not good enough.  We can’t forgive ourselves for whatever we did…

“Even now,” declares the LORD, “return to me with your whole heart.” 

It’s never too late…remember the Prodigal Son?

The fastest growing "religious" group in America is...

Did you know that over 110 million Americans tuned in to watch the Baltimore Ravens defeat the San Francisco 49ers Sunday evening?   That means that 46.3% of all Americans were tuned in for the big show down.  Nielson reported that 71% of all television were tuned into CBS for the game.  That is impressive! 

Sports are a huge part of many peoples lives.  We play them, we watch them, we want to grow up to be a professional one and we look up to them. 

Trust me, I am no different.  I grew up with a picture of Cobi Jones in my bedroom and dreamed of one day being a professional soccer player.  Currently, I am a huge Titans and Tennessee Volunteers fan (notice all the orange in my newsletters?)  And I, along with about 30 other youth and volunteers gathered in the youth room this past Sunday to watch the great showdown between the brothers.

Now I wanted to state a few facts and statistics that I found…

So as stated before,

 46.3% of Americans Watched the Super Bowl.

Last year, 28% of American adults left the faith in which they were raised in

In adults aged 18-29, one-in-four do not claim any affiliation with a particular religion.

Less than 20% of Americans attend church regularly

In a survey done of children ages 6-12 spend their time and how much time per week was spent on each activity.  The results are as followed…

Activity	Age 6-8	Age 9-12
Sleeping	70 hrs, 44 minutes a week	67:34
School	33:54	33:50
Playing	11:26	8:44
Television	12:38	13:36
Eating	7:58	7:54
Personal care	7:58	7:54
Household work	5:05	6:06
Sports	4:38	5:14
Visiting	3:25	3:41
Other leisure	2:32	3:34
Studying	2:03	3:37
Church	1:21	1:28
Reading	1:14	1:16
Art activities	0:45	0:56
Family talks	0:32	0:28
Hobbies	0:04	0:09

In a study conducted by the Fuller Youth Institute, there are two places that a child or youth can develop their faith and learn in a way that can prepare them for all the obstacles that life will throw at them.  The first and most important one was family.  Having a strong relationship with your family and being able to communicate with them.  Nothing even compares to the effect being able to talk openly with your family about what is going on in your life or about your faith.

The second was the church.  Often times children look to their church children or youth groups as a place where they can connect with other people their age that can help them and talk with them about what is going on in their lives.

So now if we look back at the study, we have almost 2 hours a week that is spent on those 2 activities combined.

Now, I do not think anything can replace the importance of family.  But I do think that the church should also be a very important part of a children’s development.  It was why I am still involved with the church.  I was forced to be active when I was younger.  Yes.  I said it.  Forced.  But I guess somewhere along the way, I couldn’t help but go.

I understand the feeling of being tired on a Sunday morning.  I almost always wake up and think…“I just want to sleep in!”  If I didn’t have this job or teach a Sunday school class, in all honesty I would probably miss every now and then.  

But is that right?

Let’s look back at that list.  I feel that even adults can sub work for the school section and it still is pretty close to accurate.

Sleep.  Well it’s necessary to function.

School/ work. Mandatory.

Playing.  That’s just fun

Television.  Well, it’s normally on while I am doing something else or while I’m eating.

Eating.  Necessary for life.

Church.  Well, if I skip Sunday school I can still make it to church. 

Church.  I just went to sleep a few hours ago, I’m still tired.  I’ll go next week.

Church…I’ll make up an excuse and keep saying it until I believe it.

Why is that where we make the exception?  We will force and bend and flex our schedules around everything.  I must make it to that party.  I have to play at least 3 sports this season.  I need to be a part of this group at school so it looks good on my college applications.

Yes, that is great.  You should do all the things you want to.  If you like playing basketball, you should.  If you want to be a part of FCA or be Vice President of German Club, awesome! Do it! (Yes, I was VP of German Club in High School).

It is great to have those goals and great to have the ambition to go out and make it happen.  But then we are burned out and tired and just looking for a place to slack.  So we pick the church.  That place we know forgives us.  That’s kind of their thing, right?

We want to squeeze everything into our already over packed schedule and the things that normally get squeezed out are the two most important. 

If merely 2 hours are spent at church or talking with your family, where does a child learn about God?  Explore their faith. 

Why is it ok that we put the church on the backburner while we live our lives?

One last statistic,

The fastest growing “religious” group in America is…atheism.

Wonder if the two can be connected at all…

YOU are the Light of the World

Tuesday greetings!  I hope everyone is having a wonderful day. 

So today, I wanted to reflect on the Gospel reading from this past Sunday.  For those of you who do not remember it or where not there, no worries...here it is.

When he came to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, he went to the synagogue on the Sabbath day, as was his custom. He stood up to read, and the scroll of the prophet Isaiah was given to him. He unrolled the scroll and found the place where it was written: "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." And he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant, and sat down. The eyes of all in the synagogue were fixed on him. Then he began to say to them, "Today this scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing."

Luke 4:16-21

So I am currently reading a book called Uncommon Youth Ministry, by Jim Burns.  In this book, he talks about how when youth grow up and become adults, and look back at their youth groups they were involved in, a trend emerged.  Adults do NOT remember the programs that their youth minister worked so hard to plan and organize.  But it was the people that and the experiences that stuck with them when they were there.  I think about that as I read this scripture from Luke.  When these people left the synagogue that Jesus had just read, do you think they remembered what he said? 

If I hadn't posted the scripture, would you be able to tell me what it said?  I know I probably wouldn't be able to do that without looking it up.

But I think that this people probably remember how Jesus read, remembered his presence.  How powerful of a presence must that have been?  This man who was sent he to teach, doing what he does, teaching!  Proclaiming that the "Spirit of the Lord is upon me!" 

 How would that not give you goose bumps!  Just imagine what it would have been like to be there!

Listening as Jesus begins his ministry in Nazareth.  Listening as he proclaims his mission.  God's mission.  Our mission.

No doubt about it.  Jesus was a very talented man.  His gifts helped him on his mission.  When you think of words that describe Jesus, teacher and healer might be two words that pop into your head.  What gifts do you think he had that helped him? 

Calm, patient, caring, understanding, the list can go on and on.

Now look at yourself. What gifts do you have?  What are your talents?  What are you good at? 

I am sure this list can go on and on too.  Writing, math, sports, singing, playing an instrument, dancing, running, golf, solving problems, staying calm, being a leader....honestly, take some time and think of these things.  What are your gifts?

I use the word gift because that is what it is, the ability to do something - creative, something useful. 

One of my favorite parables is the Parable of Salt and Light.  (Matthew 5:13-16)  In the parable Jesus explains how when you light a lamp, you do not hide the light or cover it up.  You place it up high and let it shine for all to see. 

Same with your gifts.  Do not hide them or try to shield them from others.  These are your gifts from God.  They were given specifically to you!  Do not hide them from others.  Let your light shine bright for all to see. Because these gifts come from God, who has in mind not only the individual, but everyone all together. 

Remember, YOU are the light of the world.

Freedom God, I know you are already working in the world. I want to join you! Thank you for giving your Spirit within me to guide me. Lead me in truth. Amen

May your gifts burn like a fire,  

bringing warmth to everyone you meet. 

May your gifts light the world 

and reveal the goodness of God.
May your gifts today be embraced
and expressed
with creativity,
making you useful in God's mercy.

Called to Serve

As you read this, I will be sitting in a room, waiting for my name to be called, so I can be asked some questions, to see if I will be selected to serve on a jury.  Exciting right!

When people hear this, I normally get a mix of reactions. 

Eww!

 That sucks!

 HAHA Have Fun! 

Lucky!  I want to be on a jury!

To be honest, I am both not happy yet excited about this experience.  I am sure about 10 minutes in, I will mostly be not happy.  However, it is our duty to do this.  To serve.  Thankfully I won't have to do this again for another 10 years though, which I will be ok with.

So as all of you may know, today is the Feast day of Vincent the Deacon.  Given where we are as a parish, I have a new found respect towards deacons, especially ours. 

Vincent served as the deacon under Bishop Valerius of Saragossa.  While serving as deacon, he was imprisoned for his beliefs and Bishop Valerius was exiled and Vincent was imprisoned.  Vincent was a very outspoken man and spoke with great confidence.  This was often seen as a presumptuous and despitous type of man. 

While in prison he was offered a chance to save himself.  He was asked to give up his beliefs and burn the sacraments, to perform a pagan sacrifice.

He refused.  As a result he was martyred under Emperor Diocletian. 

Hearing this reminds me of the story that came about after the tragedy at Columbine High School.  There was a girl who was asked if she believed in God.  Very confidently she stands and proclaims, "Yes."

A book came out after the tragedy called She Said Yes.  It is the story of Cassie Bernall.  A 17 year old girl who was not afraid to believe in God.

As I await my name to be announced while I am questioned to see if I will be called to serve.  I realize, I have already been called.  I have already been asked to serve.  It is up to me to answer.

How do I answer this calling? 

 Secretly?  

When it is convenient? 

Or at all times in all aspects of my life?

But that is so hard to do!  Duh.  It's not supposed to be.  Is anything that important and special really that easy?

So today, I was called to serve.  Will I be selected?  I don't know.  However, what I do know is that I have been called.  And it is up to me to serve.  We are all called to serve, but how will we answer?  Yes, but only if it fits in with my schedule?  Or yes, in all aspects of my life. 

I leave you with the lyrics to a song.  The words of this song speak volumes.  When thinking about how we are called to serve and how we will answer.  Try to think of these words.

Unashamed Love

Ten Shekel Shirt

You're calling me to lay aside the worries of my day 

To quiet down my busy mind and find a hiding place 

Worthy, Worthy

I open up my heart and let my spirit worship Yours
I open up my mouth and let a song of praise come forth

Worthy, You are worthy

Of a child-like faith
And of my honest praise
And of my unashamed love
Of a holy life
And of my sacrifice
And of my unashamed love

Icy Roads

Brrrrrrrrrrrrr!  Am I right?!  Seems like just the other day I was wearing shorts and working outside!  Wait…that was just a few days ago.  And now schools are closing early because the roads are icing over.  I guess that saying is true; if you don’t like the weather in Memphis, stick around.  Cause it’s going to change.  Probably pretty abruptly too.

So I have this friend, a mentor if you will.  I have known this person for some time now.  We do not talk all the time and there have been years where we have barely spoken more than a handful of times a year.  However, they always seem to be there to listen and to talk with me whenever something is going on.  One time we were talking about how sometimes it just seems that everything goes terribly wrong.  When it rains, it pours.  Not always one huge terrible thing but often times many many small things that make the small troubles feel big and the big troubles feel unbearable. 

The response I heard was not what I was expecting.  He said that when he looks back at the times that everything has gone wrong in his life, when things were just always going wrong; there was always one common denominator.  One thing that always seemed to connect all of his troubles through the years…him. 

He was always the one thing that connected all of his problems

Hmmm.  Well that is a very interesting way to look at it.  You could even call it depressing or self loathing.  However, once we talked more and I thought about it, it made more and more sense.

Think back to when something bad happened and you were having an already bad day?  That day probably sucked.

Now think of a time when something bad happened, but you thought, eh, it is what it is!

A lot of times we put so much pressure and stress on ourselves and beat ourselves up for no reason at all.  Today, especially.  A lot you are probably really happy because you got early for school!  YAY!  However, your parents probably are not too excited about having to drive on the icy roads.

In that one example, there are two reactions to the same problem.  Should we celebrate the fact the roads are icy?  No, that seems a little….weird.

Regardless, the roads are icy.  We cannot change that. 

Many times in our lives, we are faced with “icy roads”.  Obstacles in our way that slow us down or cause a detour, or trap us in a cabin in Arkansas, metaphorically speaking of course.

While in that moment, we feel angry and stuck and only want to fix the problem! But honestly, what can we do about it?  We can sit and we can gripe about it, but where is that going to get us.  It will probably just put us in a bad mood. 

Today, I leave you with two prayers.  Two prayers my mentor taught me a long time ago.  Two prayers that I hope you find as useful and calming as I have, especially when the roads are icy, and there is not a salt truck in sight.

The first prayer, a prayer I am sure most of you have heard the revised version.  But here, I wanted to share the full original prayer that is attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr:

God, give me grace to accept with serenity

the things that cannot be changed,

Courage to change the things

which should be changed,

and the Wisdom to distinguish

the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,

Enjoying one moment at a time,

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,

Taking, as Jesus did,

This sinful world as it is,

Not as I would have it,

Trusting that You will make all things right,

If I surrender to Your will,

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,

And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

The second pray, very easy to remember. 

All shall be well and all shall be well.  And all manner of things shall be well.

Drive safe on all the icy roads you encounter. And remember, all will be well.

Beacon of Christ

Tuesday and 2013 greetings!  It feels like a whole year has passed since the last issue came out.  Pun intended.

Well it is a new year.  That means this is the busiest month of the year for Gyms and personal trainers.  It is a time whenever tries to fix or change things that they may not like from the previous year.  Lose weight, study more, make better grades, read more books, watch less TV, what have you.   Personally, I have set some goals for myself too.  

As a youth group, I think we should do the same thing.  Together we are a community, a family.  As a whole, shouldn't we also make some New Year resolutions?  

Now, biased me can say stuff like, shouldn't we all agree to go to church more, be in Sunday School every Sunday, go to every EYC event even if I don't think it sounds like it will be fun (which you should never think cause it is always fun), come to CFT so I don't have to eat dinner alone on Wednesdays anymore, you know, stuff like that.  So I am not going to say that, even though they do sound like really great goals for the New Year.

I have actually been thinking about what are the goals that I want set for myself to accomplish here with the youth.  What is the whole point?  One word keeps popping in my head.  Beacon.  When I hear this word, I immediately imagine a lighthouse.  Lighthouses were built on coastlines to be a signal for ships to show them where the coast was.  Essentially, a lighthouse is a beacon.  If you are familiar with Thomas Kinkade, you may have heard of the Beacon of Hope lighthouse.  While his paintings may be referred to as kitsch art, it does demonstrate the concept of being a lighthouse being a beacon perfectly.

So what are we suppose to be a beacon of?  Hope?  Love? Compassion?  

This past Sunday was Epiphany.  During the service at Feast of Lights, a senior member from the DYC spoke about the light of Jesus.  She referred to Jesus as the sun.  He is the light.  Through him we are able to see all.  And we are the moon.  Alone we are dark.  We are there but we do not create our own light.  But when the sun light hits the moon, it reflects so much that it brightens the skies at night.  We are the moon.  Our job is to reflect the light of the Son.  

This year, my goal for myself and for what I want to be a joint effort throughout our youth group is to be a beacon.

To be a beacon, spreading the light of Christ to all those around us.